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Lead Your Family Like Jesus: The Heart

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God's Direction in Family Life

Welcome to Part 1 of Lead Your Family Like Jesus!

This week we are going through the section on The Heart, chapters 1-3. If you have the participant’s guide, it offers some more in-depth conversations. Tricia emphasizes the importance (or lack thereof) of certain people’s opinion’s. She challenges us to think about which ones will really matter for eternity.

We need to get it into our hearts why it’s important to lead our children and the necessity of being intentional about it.

Hop on over to Amanda’s blog to read this week’s post on The Heart.


Through Christ {Moms in the Word}

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Strength in Christ.png

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

A scripture that is often tossed around, but do we really believe it?

Think about it for a minute. Paul was talking about being content with plenty and with little in the surrounding verses. It was a learned behavior. But he extended that out to declare that he can do anything with the strength of Christ.

As a mother, I need to tap into Christ’s strength daily; hourly! But especially during some really hard times, like waiting through our adoption process, and even now we are still waiting for some things in order to move to the next step.

Hardships require His strength or we just crumble under the pressure. But how do we walk in it?

We ask. We read the Word and clothe ourselves in it. Meditate on the truths that we should live out. Combat the lies of the enemy with His truth. Put on the full armor of God. Everyday we wake up.

Living as a Christian is a war. It is not easy and we cannot do it alone or unarmed.

Raising children in today’s world is an equally tough battle because we fight for their souls to be protected from the world. We must tap into His strength and learn to walk in it. We also need to teach our children how to do that and pray it over them until they are mature enough to know how to do it for themselves.

Today, I’m keeping things short and sweet. My to-do list before we travel to Africa just keeps getting longer, so bear with me over the coming weeks!

Today is actually our LAST day of the Philippians study. I know I have thoroughly enjoyed it and learned a lot from it. I hesitate to begin another formal Bible study right now with my travel upcoming. But I also do not want us to get out of the habit of being in the Word.

So, next week I will post an intro to our next study, which will be in the book of James.  I will post the schedule and plan then. I encourage you to continue reading in the Word this week by tapping into Psalms or Proverbs. Those are always great places to read.

Come follow the Moms in the Word board on Pinterest. I pin my favorites from the link up each week!

Follow Christin’s board Moms in the Word on Pinterest.

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For His Glory

Read what others are learning through their Bible study time and link up your own post below! Please do not use this link up to promote your products. This is reserved for sharing what we are learning in the Word in our daily Bible time with the Lord. Any promos will be removed. Thank you.

Reading in an email? Click here to add you link.

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Me Time: Be Intentional

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Last week I posted on Two “Me Time” Extremes.

The extremes were that some believe they are entitled to “me time” and plenty of it and often would get angry or frustrated when they couldn’t get it. The other extreme is that some are wholly against this “me time” and believe it to be nothing less than selfish.

Me Time: Be Intentional

I wan to dig in more to why I disagree with throwing out me time all together.

I used to believe that any time I did anything for myself, it was selfish. Everything from doing my hair (blow drying), to putting on make-up, to going out to coffee with a girlfriend. It made me feel guilty, as if my time should be invested somewhere else. So I would always throw my hair up, never add “life” (make up) to my overtired face, and turn down invitations to go out of the house. I fell into the trap that doing any of these things made me less than a sacrificial mother.

The result of doing this? I didn’t take care of myself well. I was constantly burned out (and you could tell). I was literally running on empty and had very little to give to my family. I rarely conversed with adults other than the few minutes before and after church, and my husband in the evenings. (Not that conversing with my husband is not fulfilling, because it is. He’s a great conversationalist and listens well)!

I have heard the argument that God will provide us with the time we need to rejuvenate and I totally agree with that. That’s why He created, and made into law, a day of rest, once a week. The Sabbath day was created for us (humanity) as “permission” to take a day off. (Mark 2:27)

The key is to make this time fruitful. We can take a day off and come back feeling the same way (or worse) then when we left if we’re not intentional about how we spend our time.

Identify Our Needs

We go through different seasons, even if it’s on a week to week basis, where we have need of different things. We might need time to talk with a girlfriend over some struggles we’ve dealt with or are dealing with (without family bashing, of course). We might need to go out for genuine FUN to just loosen up our uptight-selves! Perhaps we need extra time with God and just need to get away to pray and seek Him through His word. It may just be that we want to CLEAN while the house is empty. Honestly, even that can be refreshing because you are being productive with no interruptions. Sometimes the need for rest is not always physical. For me, it is often NOT physical. Whatever it is, identify what needs to be filled in order to refresh yourself to better serve.

Plan Accordingly

Based on discovering your need, plan carefully to fill it. If you need to spend more time in the Word and just bask with God, don’t accept an invitation to go out with a girlfriend that week. You will surely come back with an unmet need and not be refreshed for the coming week. That’s when the need for more “me time” comes in. Because our needs were not met. Take care to plan a time when your greatest need will be met that week.

Also, do not plan your time of solitude while the kids are with you and no one else can care for them, if you can help it. This can often end in frustrations because your time is not productive or interrupted. I don’t mean that to sound selfish, but the point is, once a week, you needtime to refresh. If the time was not planned well, it will do little good. And everyone is different–if it refreshes you to have time while the kids are still around, that is totally personal for you.  Maybe your time is productive spending it having FUN with your kids. You know your needs best.

Be Productive

Keep your mind focused on meeting your needs. Don’t get side-tracked into doing something else. If you want to spend time writing [because for me it's a huge release], don’t waste your time social networking or commenting, etc. If you’re a blogger, you know exactly what I’m talking about! Use the time you have the way it was intended so your need is met and your “tank” is filled. (Or stress is released) The point is to stay focused on filling your need. Although this is a time of solitude, it is for your good and the good of your family, and the time needs to be disciplined in order for it to be effective for you.

Finally, after your time of solitude,

Prepare Yourself to Go Home

Don’t allow yourself to remain in the “me time” mentality. Once your time is up, pray, and prepare yourself to serve again. Too often we can remain in a state of solitude in our minds and become distracted from our children or tasks, and/or frustrated with their needs because we are not truly back “home”. So, be sure to prepare yourself to go home and serve again. Be aware that the house will still need cleaning and children tending to when you get home. The whole point of this “me time” is to refresh you to serve again. Resist the temptation [and flesh] to seek more of it before the week comes around again.

A few notes:

  • This time is not the same and should not replace your time with God, in prayer and in His Word, on a daily basis.
  • I believe making this a weekly endeavor is completely acceptable but be sure to talk it over with your husband so you can agree on what will work best for your family.
  • You don’t necessarily need to be out of the house to be productive. However, if you’re anything like me, sometimes getting out is the most productive because you are not in constant view of what needs to be done while you should be focusing on restoration to come back (in body and mind). If you are focused on all that needs to be done when your time is up, you will not be productive in your time.

In part 3, I address some small (but big) day to day refreshers that help you get through each day as it comes. These refreshers help you feel your best in the day to day. They may not address your biggest need, however, they can help prevent your biggest need from getting bigger.

What do you do for mom time?

Your Role as Leader in Your Family

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Mom and daughter hands, outdoors

Welcome to the introduction of our summer book club, Lead Your Family Like Jesus!

If you have not gotten your book yet, no worries! You can grab an e-copy here—> Lead Your Family Like Jesus

Before we officially begin, I want to give you a heads up on how we’re doing this. My fellow blogging friend, Amanda Pelser, is going to be tag teaming this study with me. And she has created a pretty awesome journal to go with this study. I’ll share the link for that at the bottom of this post.

One more thing before we get started on this, I want to caution you (and myself). Let’s not allow this to just be “another book study”. My goal to bringing Moms in the Word and the Book Club to Joyful Mothering is to hope for real change in my heart and the hearts of anyone interested in joining in. I don’t want this just to be another thing to check off our bucket list. I want to transform our hearts and transform our families.

Forget about all the other awesome books out there right now — just for the next 6 weeks — and let’s dig deep into this one and allow it to change us.

Leader in Your Family

I want to be a good leader for my children. I want to be the kind of mom who lives what she wants her children to learn. I don’t just want to tell them how to love; I want to show them. Sometimes it’s not always easy, and the “do as I say, not as I do” motto is too close to home.

If you have purchased your book, I encourage you to read the Introduction this week if you haven’t yet. It lays a foundation for what the book should accomplish and what it means to lead.

Lead Your Family Like Jesus

Lead by Serving

Essentially, we lead by serving.

I think sometimes we are afraid that if we serve “too much” our children will become spoiled and feel like they’re entitled to that kind of service. But the secret is to encourage our children to serve as well. Start within your own home. Teach them to serve one another, serve at church, at family functions.

Children who are poured into in the right way can more easily pour out on others. See, they aren’t much different from us adults in their needs.

Let’s begin to shift our focus to serving our children because we love them. That’s the only way to serve well is through love.

Read chapters 1, 2, and 3 this week.

Now, head over to Amanda’s blog and grab a free download of the awesome journal she created to accompany this study.

Here is the updated schedule:

  • June 4 – Intro @ Joyful Mothering
  • June 11 – Part 1: The Heart (3 Chapters) @ Kids in the Word
  • June 18 – Part 2: The Head (3 Chapters) @ Joyful Mothering
  • June 25 – Part 3: The Hands (3 Chapters) @Kids in the Word
  • July 2 – Part 4: The Habits (3 Chapters) @Joyful Mothering
  • July 9 – Conclusion @Kids in the Word

I will continue to have a post up each week, even if the week is hosted at Kids in the Word, to give a brief synopsis and then we’ll meet over there for comments and conversation. :) I look forward to some changed families!!


Do Not Be Anxious About Anything

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Trust God With Worries

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

The topic of anxiety and worry is a fresh one for me. I both feel like I have something to offer on the topic, yet not because I still don’t have a solid solution for handling my own worry.

But I have definitely learned a lot over the previous months about how to cope with it.

I think we believe that when the Bible tells us not to worry, we will never encounter thoughts of anxiety. I just don’t think that’s true. I believe the key is to taking those thoughts and those anxieties captive before they become crippling.

As someone who has just come out of a time of anxiety due to the delay and uncertainty in our adoption process, the experience is still fresh in my mind.

When I allowed my anxious thoughts to take hold, they lead my down the road of “What if…”. My worries would only grow from a fantasy I’d created in my own mind. I was anxious about nothing!

But, I found when I would capture those thoughts and replace them with God’s truth, His peace would follow. It seriously felt like a switch went off on anxiety and went on with peace. You know, that peace that surpassing all understanding? Paul wasn’t kidding about that!

Trusting God with our worries acts as a shield around our hearts. It protects us from worry and fear. Fear is a poisonous weapon for the enemy and it can be used to control us. Do not be controlled by fear.

Prayer is powerful in releasing our worries to God. We show Him that we trust Him with our lives and those lives around us. I worried a lot for our girls in Africa, who wondered and asked weekly, when we were coming back for them. I worried they wouldn’t trust us or would lose hope.

But God has them in the palm of His hands. Did I really think that I was the only one who cared for them? Who wanted the best for them?

When I focused on how God had revealed Himself to us in various ways throughout the whole of our adoption, it really helped me recognize that He truly was in charge, and having Him in charge is a wonderful place to be!


Come follow the Moms in the Word board on Pinterest. I pin my favorites from the link up each week!

Follow Christin’s board Moms in the Word on Pinterest.

Join us in the Philippians study! You can see the schedule here. I am using Elizabeth George’s Philippians study, “Experiencing God’s Peace“. Or join in with your own Bible study. Click below to find out how it works. 

Moms in the Word Tuesdays on Joyful Mothering

For His Glory

Read what others are learning through their Bible study time and link up your own post below! Please do not use this link up to promote your products. This is reserved for sharing what we are learning in the Word in our daily Bible time with the Lord. Any promos will be removed. Thank you.

Reading in an email? Click here to add you link.

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Me Time : Two Extremes

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Me Time - Two Extremes

As a mother, so much is required of us. Let’s face it, mothering is not easy. Rewarding, yes. Easy? Far from it.

It empties us regularly. Not of fulfillment, but of rest and clear thought.

Many of us have been taught one of two things about me time. You know, the time a mother gets alone?

Two Extreme Beliefs About Me Time

1. We believe that we deserve “me time” based on how hard we’ve worked, how many hours we’ve put in, and the stress our “job” as a mother puts on us. After all, we’ve earned it.


2. We are fully against the “me time myth” and believe it’s an extreme act of selfishness for any mother to desire such a thing.

Here’s why both these extremes can be unhealthy.

Entitlement Leads to Bitterness

When we believe we’re entitled to this time for ourselves, it’s easy to see how we can fall into the trap of having rights to get it . I mean, we do work extremely hard and need a break, right? Well, yes, this is true. But we have to be careful how we set our minds on this. When we believe we are entitled to, have earned, or deserve something, we can get very upset when we don’t get it. This can put our family in a foul position. They become the target of our irritability when we don’t get what we want. In fact, sometimes we can actually blame them or become bitter toward them because we feel as if they are the reason for our “need” of me time and possibly the result of not getting it at times.

Additionally, when we do get our me time, what we have chosen to do was not very productive at “filling our tank”, so we begin to need this me time more often. We indulge in our flesh and it is never satisfied. Our need of me time is focused on only ourselves and satisfying its desires {which are never really satisfied}. No matter how much time we got, it wouldn’t be enough.

This becomes a dangerous breeding ground for selfishness. This me time can become such an idol that all we can think about is the next time we’ll get some. It becomes an addiction. Yet it lacks substance so it’s not truly fulfilling.

It is a Myth Moms Need a Break

On the other hand, some completely reject me time and claim the need is a total myth.  Any woman who felt she “needed” this me time was just being selfish and trying to feed her own desires. God put us into this role and we should not try to “escape” it. We are to put our children and husband first and learn to sacrifice. It is absurd to think that mothers need a break.


Both these ideas of thinking can be toxic. There may be mothers who can go long bouts of time without needing to step away for a breather. And there may be some who need to step away more often than some would be comfortable with themselves. We all carry different needs and to dismiss or degrade one mom’s need over another is dangerous.


I caution both of these me time extremes. Neither one is healthy. Either we’re “over eating” or we’re “starving” ourselves.

In order for me time to be healthy, it needs to be productive.

Next Monday I will address being intentional with your me time.

What do you struggle with when it comes to getting time for yourself?

Linked with:

The Modest Mom
Mama Moments
Monday’s Musings
Making Your Home Sing

Hope Does Not Disappoint

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Hope. It does not disappoint.
It has been quite a while since I’ve shared any kind of update on my blog regarding our adoption. In fact, the last post I wrote was
back in November, when we first learned we were beginning a new season of waiting.

If you are just happening upon my blog, we have been in the adoption process two years. You can read more about it here.

We still remain in that season and I truly hope we are nearing the end of it.


That word has such new meaning for me. It’s a peculiar thing, really. Hope is the one thing that I have clung to in order to keep breathing. Every day and every week, I cling to the hope that we will receive that news we’ve been aching to hear for a year. Still, everyday and every week goes by without word that we can move forward.

I feel like a rabbit with a carrot dangling in front of its face. You know, like in the old cartoons?

The prize sits right there, just out of grasp. I pray and hope I’m praying right. I war to keep my thoughts on God’s word and His promises and fight to not allow fear to run away with my mind.

I fight tears every time I hear their sweet voices on the other end of the phone…just across the ocean…asking, again, when we are coming back. And without a definite answer, I say, again, “We hope very soon.” For six months, it’s the same answer.

A mother’s heart cannot be tamed. No matter how hard I try and pray for my mama heart to be tamed from the pain I feel to be away from them, it simply cannot be suppressed.

Sometimes I pretend not to care in hopes of alleviating the pain. But to no avail.

And hope? What used to be a sweet aroma to me is becoming more of a stench. Hope delayed is leaving me heart-sick.

I’m beginning to feel left gasping for air by it.

Earlier this week I just poured it out on God,

“God, I don’t understand how it’s no problem to work in everyone else’s (as in, those around us) adoption case and bring their children home, even against all odds, yet ours is so complicated and horribly drug out. We are heart-sick and physically ill from holding onto hope week after week–month after month–only to be heart broken over and over and over again. No matter what I believe or how I trust or how hard I fight or pray. I’m left empty of hope fulfilled. Hope has become my enemy because it has repeatedly stabbed my heart. I have nothing left but shards.” 

And then…

…yesterday morning, after writing this just the day before, I received a phone call from my husband just minutes after he had left for work. Through sobs he blurted out, “We got approved!”

I could hardly believe it. We were approved — after 13 months of waiting — to move on to the final steps of our adoption process. 

My cries mattered to God. My pain was His pain. He is faithful…even in the darkest moments, even when we’re feeling hopeless.

God is going to finish what He started.

“He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.” 1 Thess. 5:24

Hope didn’t disappoint after all.

So now, we prepare to travel in the coming weeks. And we prepare our hearts to welcome home two girls who know no home or family the way we do. Whose past is a dagger for them…even if they don’t yet realize it.

Would you like to partner with us? We are still in need of travel expenses in order to fly to bring our girls home. All donations are tax deductible and your support is greatly appreciated. 

A little goes a long way. If everyone who is subscribed donated just $2, we’d be fully funded.  

Coffee Break with Christin

We Are Called to Strive

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All too often people mistake the death and resurrection of Christ to be an excuse for complacency–remaining satisfied where they are because Christ paid the price.

Called to Strive

This teaching is 100% false and the Bible tells us this over and over again.  It is because Christ died that we should be compelled to action. Grace equips us for good works, it doesn’t exempt us from them. 

We Are Servants of Christ

There seems to always be a debate going on (whether with ourselves or with others) about grace versus works. There is no “grace versus works”. They are mutually exclusive. In other words, if you remove one, faith is incomplete. In fact, not only is it incomplete, it’s dead (James 2:26).

Your works confirm your faith. Your faith confirms your works. When we are serious about our gift of salvation and the sacrifice it requires, we see that our lives were meant to be dedicated in service to Christ. (Romans 7:25, 1 Corinthians 7:22).

We are not free from the Law, rather Christ fulfilled what we could not. We are still called to follow it. He didn’t abolish it. (Matthew 5:17)

Either we are slaves to sin or slaves to Christ. Being a slave to Christ means we are free from being a slave to sin. It does not mean we are free to do as we please. (Romans 6:1, Romans 6:15)

We Are Called to Strive

Christians constantly reject Christianity as having “rules” and call it legalism. This is simply not true. The Bible is full of guidelines (aka rules) to follow in order to live a righteous life and confirm your salvation or faith in the work of the cross.

We don’t strive to earn God’s love. We already have it. We strive to work out our salvation. Is grace a free gift? Not necessarily. It’s freely given, but it will cost you your life.

In our Philippians study, Paul confirms that he is not perfected and needs to press on. (Philippians 3:12)

I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

“Upward” in this verse refers to a higher position. God has called us to be more than we are. And He cannot work in us if we stand still.

Legalism Versus Works

So what’s the difference between legalism and works?

It’s really quite simple. Legalism is man making up rules and teaching them as righteous living.

For example, the kind of food we eat. We are free to eat what we want. There is no law against such living. (Colossians 2:20-23). There are consequences to the kind of food we eat, but it is not considered an eternal matter, therefore to teach others it is a sin to eat poorly is legalism.

God calls us to focus on eternal matters or things above. (Colossians 3:2)

The only way to know how He wants us to live is to pray and read His word. The only way to walk out our faith is to take the steps to live how He has called us to live.

Jesus plainly said, “If you love me, you’ll obey my commandments.” (John 14:15)

We need to show the Lord we love Him. Furthermore, we need to show our children we love Him.

Join us in the Philippians study! You can see the schedule here. I am using Elizabeth George’s Philippians study, “Experiencing God’s Peace“. Or join in with your own Bible study. Click below to find out how it works. 

Moms in the Word Tuesdays on Joyful Mothering

For His Glory

Read what others are learning through their Bible study time and link up your own post below! Please do not use this link up to promote your products. This is reserved for sharing what we are learning in the Word in our daily Bible time with the Lord. Any promos will be removed. Thank you.

Also linked with:
Titus 2usdays
Titus 2 Tuesday
Women Helping Women

Summer Book Club

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Book Club - Lead Your Family Like Jesus

Summer Book Club

I have been so thrilled with the accountability of the Moms in the Word community. Sure, the link up is empty every week, but I see feeds trickling with Bible reading and discussion by moms hungry for His word.  Alongside our Bible reading, I want to branch out and do some book studies. I want to learn ways to practically walk out what we learn through the scriptures.

It’s nice to have help and direction through  solid, biblical teachings (though not to take the place of daily Bible reading).

Our first book is going to be Lead Your Family Like Jesus, co-authored by Tricia Goyer. I really encourage you, if you can, to grab the participants guide as well.

The book is not a hard nor a long read. It’s straight forward and to the point. It offers valuable insights from experienced and biblically grounded parents.

Get your copy here: Hard copy or ebook. Don’t forget the participants guide. We’ll begin in two weeks!

Book Club Schedule

  • June 4 – Intro
  • June 11 – Part 1: The Heart (3 Chapters)
  • June 18 – Part 2: The Head (3 Chapters)
  • June 25 – Part 3: The Hands (3 Chapters)
  • July 2 – Part 4: The Habits (3 Chapters)
  • July 9 – Conclusion

I recommend highlighting and taking note of just a few things you can implement in your family structure to start. We may be reading through the book in 6 weeks (or less), but the principals will take longer to take hold. I think it’s a great idea to have a place to jot some notes that are personal for your family.

Giveaway {CLOSED}

Winner has been chosen and notified!

Lead Your Family Like Jesus

Tricia has agreed to give away a copy of Lead Your Family Like Jesus! Yay!

All you need to do is leave a comment sharing what one thing you would like to work on in your family structure. Could be as simple as adding devotions/Bible reading to your day or as involved as shifting the overall tone of the family.

A winner will be announced next Wednesday!

Moms, Let’s Stop Complaining

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Moms, do all things without complaining

{Day 10 Philippians 2:12-18}

Before I get into this very real issue, I want to make certain everyone here knows I have a complaining problem. There. I said it. And I despise it. So, let’s get on with why it’s poisonous in our homes and how we can change that, shall we?

Complaining is Poisonous

Complaining is poisonous not only to your soul, but also to those around you. Even complaining quietly can be seen in our attitudes. I have been ashamed at some of my complaints said aloud around my children. What would I think if I was the child hearing some of this stuff:

“Ugh. I cannot keep up!”

“I just cleaned this up! I am so tired of cleaning up after everyone!” (Yikes)

“I need to get out of the house.”

Do you see how these words can make a child feel bad? They are destructive words. It implies we are unhappy in our roles and indirectly shames them. And really? We shame ourselves. I don’t want to continue on this path.

Complaining is Unproductive

In fact, it is probably counterproductive. It slows us down and over time poisons the soul and spirit, making us grumpy, discontent, and critical. Complaining doesn’t change whatever it is we’re complaining about: housework, meals, homeschooling, loud children, out-of-control laundry, the never-ending-to-do-list.  It simply zaps us of energy and joy. It makes us ungrateful and unsatisfied and in the long run, depressed.

Complaining is Ingratitude

The hard truth? Complaining shows we are not content; we are not thankful. Quite the opposite of what God has called us to be. And for good reason. Gratitude is good for the soul and it honors God.

The bad habit of complaining comes from practice. And the only way to undo it is to practice the opposite: gratitude. Ann Voskamp has it right:

“The practice of giving thanks…eucharisteo…this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes. We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see.” -One Thousand Gifts

We want to feel the presence of God, yet we push Him away with complaints of what He’s brought us. There is no life of ease, and believing motherhood is supposed to be easy is just completely false. But sitting around complaining about it doesn’t change the fact.

God says if we need wisdom, to ask for it. He gives generously, without finding fault. (James 1:5)

What have you learned through your Bible study this week? Link up below or leave a comment.

 Join us in the Philippians study! You can see the schedule here. I am using Elizabeth George’s Philippians study, “Experiencing God’s Peace“. Or join in with your own Bible study. Click below to find out how it works. 

Moms in the Word Tuesdays