Becoming a Wise Woman – Part 2

March 11, 2013 by 1 Comment

beautiful girl laughs and dances outdoors in a meadow durning sunset

A wise woman recognizes her need for Jesus.

This is first and foremost vitally important, because I simply can do nothing on my own. I cannot save myself through good behavior or good deeds. In fact, I can’t even do the “good deeds” without Christ. I have been down that road more times then I care to count. You know, trying to be all that I can be, through me. Not gonna happen. Ever.

Before I set off to walk in the ways of a wise woman, I need to know where my source of strength lies and what my purpose is. Is my purpose to glorify God or glorify myself?

What I find myself running into when I strive, is that I often forget at some point I will fail. I will fail to live up to my own standards, or even God’s standards, as laid out in Scripture.  I don’t want to live as a wise woman to have some kind of recognition or feel better about myself. I want to live as a wise woman because God wants the best for me and because there is a wonderful sense of fulfillment when I find myself in God’s will.

My failures point me to Jesus and they help me remember my need for Him. If my failures do nothing else good, I pray they keep me running to Jesus. But I want more than simply a “fail and run” relationship with Christ.

I want to recognize that my striving shouldn’t begin with works, but with Christ. I need to strive for Him first; the works will take care of themselves. They will happen a bit more naturally rather than feeling like I’m fighting an uphill battle. It seems so simple doesn’t it? Yet, I forget that my life is not built upon what I can do, but what Christ has already done.

This should empower me to act. A life filled with works, yet empty of Christ, is empty. But a life filled with Christ naturally overflows in His good work because love takes the lead, not self.

A wise woman recognizes that only Christ can transform her heart. It is not something she can do through willpower or habit. He can choose to change a heart immediately or through long-suffering. I simply need to seek Him, fully and wholly.

 If I live my life chasing after doing everything right and fail to cultivate a relationship with Christ, I’ve wasted it.  

Filed Under: Daily Life, Living for Him Tagged With:

Pruning for New Growth

February 26, 2013 by 7 Comments

Pruning

 

There are seasons in our lives when God is asking us to let go of some things so what’s left has room to grow. Sometimes it can seem like we can manage everything we have going on, but that’s just it. Managing them won’t give them the best chance at blossoming into something beautiful and effective.

Sometimes He has something even better for us but cannot release it until we let go of some of the other endeavors, even if they were at one point ordained by God. At times, He only ordains certain callings for a season before moving us into new growth. It’s so important we are attuned to His voice and His leading.

I know when He’s calling me out of something for something better, I will not have peace until I let go whatever it is I’m holding onto. When we cram in too much, each piece can only grow so far. Doing too much stunts the growth of everything. There is only so much space.

So, allowing God to cut some things out so He can further grow what’s left is really a liberating thing! If He isn’t connected to what we’re doing, it isn’t going to be fruitful anyways, and it’s only going to choke what He does want to grow.

Think about the things in your life that would offer you much peace if you could let them go. That might be a place to start praying and asking God what He wants and to confirm that for you.

I have felt lead to begin letting some of my VA (virtual assistant) work go. I struggled with it for a little while because I wasn’t sure if it was just me or if it was really God. But, as I started to release some of it, peace overcame me and I knew I was doing the right thing. It’s simply a season. God has new growth for me and new growth for my family as we welcome in two precious new members in the coming months.

It’s important that I make way for them to have room to blossom by offering them my time as they adjust into a family in an entirely new culture.

But maybe your season looks different. Perhaps you homeschool and you need to spend more time in a certain area of homeschooling–it could be planning, it could be teaching a certain subject, it could be teaching a specific child more closely.

Maybe it’s in your marriage. Perhaps you need more time to be more intentional about connecting with your husband.

Evaluate your own life and season and see if God is speaking to you about letting something go or parring something down. What might it be?

 

Filed Under: Living for Him

Calling All Men…

January 23, 2013 by 1 Comment

…ladies, grab your husbands. I have a special message for them from Family Life…

Did you know there are five stages in a man’s journey? (I wonder how many stages there are in a womans!) Author and founder of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, speaks to each of these stages in his book, Stepping Up, A Call to Courageous Manhood. In it, he unpacks what it means to be a man and discusses the unique challenges, opportunities and responsibilities of each stage—boyhood, adolescence, manhood, mentor and patriarch. In a time, when definitions of masculinity are ridiculed by some and blurred by others, many of our Christian brothers don’t understand what it means to be a Godly man.

 

“Men today are realizing that another crisis is upon us. There are no bullets or bombs, but we are on a battlefield all the same. It’s a fight for our families and our future. And for this fight we need men who are willing to bravely step up and be the tough, courageous men God designed them to be,” says Rainey.

 

Dennis Rainey and FamilyLife are right now challenging our husbands, sons and fathers to answer the call to godly, courageous manhood and to host or join in on Stepping Up Super Saturday, a one-day, nationwide event held in churches and homes on Saturday, February 2.

Through engaging stories, expert teaching and personal insights, Rainey, along with Matt Chandler, Bill Bennett, Tony Dungy, Robert Lewis, Voddie Baucham, Mark Driscoll, and 15 others will layout the blueprint of biblical manhood and challenge every man to step up in their own lives, marriages, churches, and communities.

To join in on Stepping Up Super Saturday, men can order the event kit, gather together and pop in the DVD. From there, these nationally renowned speakers tackle some of the biggest issues facing men today. Please encourage your husbands, as well as teen and young adult sons, to join in on this incredible chance to be inspired and to step up to godly, courageous manhood.

 

This post is sponsored by

I support and endorse FamilyLife. They are a terrific organization of resources for Christian families.  

Filed Under: Living for Him, Resources

My One Word for 2013

January 1, 2013 by 20 Comments

Intentional.

I used to be pretty good about being intentional–about my days, about my walk with Christ, about teaching my children. Unfortunately, it has been lacking lately and it’s time to regain that focus.

So much is wasted when we live by default–when we live with whatever is thrown at us in the daily grind. Instead, I want to be prepared for the battle. I want to be equipped to handle my responsibilities. I want to be armed with the right tools to raise my children and teach them about what they need to know, academics and otherwise.

Living a life of intention requires a bit of planning ahead–knowing what I want and what it’s going to take to get me there. I need to be sure my “wants” line up with God’s heart otherwise my course will be all off.

Here are some major areas that being intentional will really make a huge difference:

Adoption

We are hoping, praying, and expecting that we will be bringing home two beautiful girls from Africa near the end of 2013. This journey is not about us and “rescuing” orphans from poverty. Oh no, it goes much deeper than that. While God calls us to care for the orphans, adoption is not the only way to do that. But God has a plan for these two precious girls and we are simply His vessels to help bring that to fruition.

But, it requires some serious sacrifice on our part and having a solid, structured schedule in place is one of them. It is vital for the security of the girls to know what to expect–not to mention it’s good for our children who are home now! But this will be a little tighter than what we’re used to. So, the year 2013 will find me being more intentional about keeping to our schedule, allowing some flexibility, and maintaining a good attitude in the midst. Maybe that’s a high bar, but if I know where to lean when I fail, it won’t frustrate me as much when I fail to reach it. Hey, I’m just keepin’ it real. I can’t abolish all frustrations, but I can certainly minimize them!

Homeschool

 I have not been as structured as I’d like to be, though my children are definitely still learning. However, our read aloud time has slipped away and I miss it!

I want to be a bit more intentional about what we’re learning, yet remain flexible enough to make it fun and meaningful for them. I like curricula to help give me a framework, but I cannot follow it to a “T”. It boxes me and my children in and I don’t like that. So though I use it, I don’t allow myself to be bound by it.

When our girls come home from Africa, they will join in with our lessons, but will require more attention as they learn to speak more English (they know some), learn to read English and understand math concepts.

Part of my intentional goal is to help my older children be more independent in their studies. They are absolutely capable and I can make it fun and teach them responsibility at the same time.

Home Keeping

Again, this has slacked a bit. I want to help prevent the house from becoming the epitome of a tornado running through it. This will require that I make certain to check my kids chores on a daily basis. Not only so the house helps keep order but also to teach them responsibility as well.

Prevention is best! Cleaning as you go is awesome! I just need to be intentional and push myself to finish each task.

Blogging/Writing

These past few months have found me slacking majorly in being intentional on my blog and in my writing (other than my eBook). I have so many things overflowing in my heart that I want to share in this space!! I do not want them to fade out before I have a chance to write them out!

I noticed last year brought a lot of interest in a marriage series I did. This year I will be adding some posts and series on marriage. Prior to blogging, I used to teach biblical marriage concepts in other online forums. The response of “The Husband Project” was so great, that I cannot ignore the obvious need for encouragement in marriage.

I also want to include some devotions–maybe weekly. It will help hold me accountable to stay in the Word knowing I need to share something the Lord is teaching me.

Finally, I want to read more–good writers are avid readers. I hope to share my book list for 2013 with you tomorrow! Some of them may over lap from last year since I didn’t get around to reading all of last year’s listed books!

This space will be a place to share how I live out my one word for 2013. It looks to be a busy year with big changes because of our adoption and I intend to make it count!!!

What’s your one word? I would LOVE to know!!

Filed Under: Daily Life, Living for Him

Make Everyday Like a New Year

December 31, 2012 by 3 Comments

I don’t know what it is about the start of a new year, but it really does feel like a bit of a new beginning. It’s no surprise why people want to make resolutions and try to break bad habits and create new ones. We feel motivated and empowered simply by the feel of a new start.

Some people seek to avoid making resolutions because they fear they will fail them anyways. Me? I am a goal setter and resolution maker! I love the opportunity to start afresh. I can’t expect perfection–but I can expect progression.

Being afraid to fail is not going to stop me because I already fail everyday. I may as well stop breathing if I will not step out into something new for fear of failing.

I want to try. The Bible encourages us to strive for Christ and live righteous lives. It’s OK to want to be a better person. Just know that isn’t what gives us right standing with God. Rather, it’s an outpouring of what has already been done for us. For me, it’s like I can’t help but want to continuously grow and mature in different areas of my life.

That’s the heart change I pray for on a daily basis. Making goals simply puts feet and action to that change.

There are also those projects that have been piling up that I would love to get done. My expectations aren’t to be perfect about accomplishing everything in a certain amount of time. My expectations are to simply try and keep trying, and to lean into Christ when I try and when I fail.

The ultimate goal is Christ and relationship with Him, not performance. I will not rely on whether I succeed or fail to determine my worth because it is always the same. I only know that when I fail to set standards that are above what I know I can reach, I am miserable. I am not built for mediocrity and cannot live in that way.

Do you know what’s beautiful about the mercies of God? They are like the start of a new year, but every single day. If only every day could feel like the start of a new year; I think we’d be discouraged and disappointed a lot less! But it is true. Each day we wake up, we start afresh. Our mistakes and failures yesterday don’t matter, they only hinder us from moving forward.

It’s time to put this entire year behind us. Forget about all the things we failed to accomplish, focus on what we did, and move into the next year with high hopes for a deeper relationship with Christ.

That relationship is what moves us to action in the first place. Without hope in Christ, we have no hope for our future. We cannot put our hope in ourselves or our ability–we will fall short every time.

When our hope is in Christ and what He has already done, it empowers us to live for Him. He has given us that freedom! Let’s use this freedom to serve Christ by serving others well in the coming year.

Tomorrow I’ll share my one word for 2013.

Have you considered a one word resolution?

P.S. If you get this message in your inbox twice, find the one that is delivered by FEEDBLITZ and unsubscribe from FEEDBLITZ updates so you will no longer receive double emails. :)

 

Filed Under: Daily Life, Living for Him

Goals for December ~ Going Out With a Bang in 2012!

November 27, 2012 by 2 Comments

This is the last month I have in 2012 to make and meet some goals. I have so much swirling in my head that I want/need to do that if I don’t get it down, I may just explode with being overwhelmed!

I’ve shared my business and blogging goals over on my other blog, if you’re interested in reading those.

Here I share my personal, mothering, and homemaking goals for the next 5 weeks.

Personal

  • Finish reading Everything by Mary DeMuth. This book has gripped my heart but I haven’t made intentional time to dig in and finish it. This book talks about giving Jesus everything and the cost that is really required of us. It is really the heart of the Gospel of Christ. I truly believe it’s where real joy is found.
  • Finish The Mom Walk by Sally Clarkson. This is one of my favorite book by Sally. It’s the heart of motherhood–walking with Christ first and foremost and how that spills over into your mothering.

{If you haven’t guessed yet, I’m an avid reader. ;) }

  • Get back to waking up early. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve done this. I truly miss it! I want to get back to spending time in the Word and prayer. I’m making a new commitment to praying for the upcoming year so I would like to get some things in order here.
  • Do more personal writing in my journal.

Mothering

  • Get back to our morning read aloud time (somehow this has gotten away from us!)
  • Keep computer off during morning hours–I would really like to give my children my full attention during this time, rather than being constantly distracted by happenings on the Internet. {Note to self: the Internet never sleeps. There is always something!}
  • Continue to work on having a gentle tone {free eBook coming soon!}

Homemaking

  • Purge and organize entire house by the new year. This might be the one that keeps me the most busy!
  • Set up my new Plan to Eat account this week so menu planning can take place.

Starting this week, I am going to go through every bookshelf,  cupboard, drawer, and area of my home and just purge and organize. Everything needs to have a place and those things I am not using need to go. Part of having a peaceful home is keeping light on all the “stuff” we have. My goal is to spend 15 minutes per day, every day and just work.

Fifteen minutes per day is not too much to ask and I have a feeling will accomplish way more than I can imagine. I have 36 days. That’s 540 minutes, or 9 hours, of purging and organizing. Oh yes! I can do this! And you can too!

Then, perhaps I’ll ring in the new year with a new habit! :)

I’ll be posting my progress here once a week so you all can hold me accountable. :)

What are your goals for the wrap up of 2012?

If you don’t have any, I encourage you to make a few. You’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish when you have a little intentional direction. :)

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Filed Under: Daily Life, Living for Him Tagged With:

Where We Are Called to Disciple

November 14, 2012 by 9 Comments

Monday there was quite the tragedy at the house next door to mine. The teenage boy who lived there was found unconscious in his car. By the time I knew anything was going on, the ambulance lights were flashing in my window.

I grabbed my coat and ran outside because one of the neighbor girls was struggling to hold it together and there was noone there to comfort her. I ran up to her and wrapped her in my arms and prayed to God.

The boy has a heart condition and apparently went into heart failure. They took him into the ambulance and we waited. At that point I started feeling an ache in my stomach and I had to lean over to catch some deep breaths. Although we’ve lived next to this family for 4 years, we weren’t that acquainted with them. We were friendly neighbors, waving hi in passing. But that’s the extent of it.

As the ambulance pulled away, we were left with no real answers. But I felt sick thinking the worst.

He doesn’t know Jesus.

I called my husband on the phone to tell him and I think I scared him to thinking something was wrong with one of our own children. As I started to talk, I began hyperventilating — something I’ve never experienced before. I couldn’t catch my breath between words.

Why am I so upset over someone I barely know?

Because he doesn’t know Jesus.

God is breaking my heart and opening my eyes to see just why it’s so important that we disciple those he’s placed around us. It’s no accident that God has placed each of us where He has.

We are to share the gospel with others and then show them how to go out and share the gospel with others. That’s what it means to make disciples. It doesn’t mean to sit within the same group of believers and disciple each other.

It means to “Go!” and disciple the nations–proclaim the gospel to those who don’t know it. The nation is all around us. America is in just as much need for the true Gospel of Christ as any other nation.

Not only do we need to look for those in our scope of reach, but we need to not neglect the ones God has placed in our own home: our children–and perhaps even an unsaved husband. Do not make the mistake of thinking that our complacency (or lack of intentionality) will not have a negative effect on our children or in our own lives.

The word on the boy next door is that he is breathing and with a pulse – PRAISE GOD. But as of yesterday, there were still no answers. Pray for him? His name is Jacob.

The days are evil and we need to make the most of every opportunity. (Eph. 5:15)

Filed Under: Living for Him

Quiet My Soul

November 9, 2012 by 2 Comments

Dear Jesus,

Help me quiet the voice. The one that tells me I’ll never get it right and I’m just not good enough. That voice that says I’ll never live up the expectations I have for myself or of those that everyone else has for me.

Quiet the voice the makes me ball up with fear of ever stepping out. Of ever seeing the unknown or making myself vulnerable.

Help me quiet my soul so I can hear your voice. Quiet my soul so I can feel your grace and fill up that space with love that I just can’t understand.

Quiet my soul of the noise of the world and all its lures. Quiet the noise of the busyness in my life so it doesn’t drown out what’s most important to me.

You.

Filed Under: Living for Him

Day 22 {a Gentle Answer} Shows Control

October 22, 2012 by 5 Comments

It wasn’t until a year or two ago I ever considered the fact that our children can get stressed and react on that stress. When circumstances get stressful, my children can “act out”; at least, that’s how it looks from the outside.

But really, they are coping with their own stress–and they need help learning to cope in healthy ways.

No doubt hearing harsh words from mom can cause stress–especially if it’s a regular, ongoing occurrence. This would in turn cause behavior that is less than ideal and seems to come out of nowhere. There is always a root and rarely will a child act out just to “act out”.

My children are not perfect children, by any means. But I have never known them to maliciously act out just to push my buttons. Sometimes they are tired, or hungry (low blood sugar can cause mood shifts), or insecure if they are out of their normal routine; especially if it’s frequent.

When we are careful about how our words come out, we show our wisdom through controlling our anger. Controlling our anger then reduces our stress and the stress we put on our children. Another word for stress is “burden” or “affliction”.

Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit–it cannot be accomplished in our own strength. We must call on the Lord to help us — and He will! When I pray, He meets me there and guides me through that day.

Prayer is the key to accomplishing anything God has for us. Do not neglect it.

Sometimes we can grow weary of working toward the same thing for too long (like, 31 days). But the Bible talks consistently about being persistent and not growing weary of doing good.

This is a process!! It will not change over night. If you think about it, these 31 Day series are quite brilliant for habit making and soul changing!

So, what are some practical ways we can show control through our anger?

  • Pray. Pray before the day begins and pray when you’re in the midst of anger. Step out of the room for a few moments to remove yourself from the situation and regroup through prayer.
  • Be slow to speak. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just be quiet.
  • Step outside. Breathe deep the fresh air. Seriously. It’s good for your brain and your lungs. It may help soothe the emotions to help you think clearly again.

Remember how precious your children are. Look past their imperfections into something greater they possess. They are a gift. God made us their mothers to help unleash their potential in order to glorify Him. He wants us to succeed, and He’s willing to help! We need only ask, and step out in faith.

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Filed Under: 31 Days to a Gentle Answer, Living for Him

Day 17 {a Gentle Answer} Encourages Obedience

October 17, 2012 by 2 Comments

I know I missed a day this week — bear with me!! Things are super busy as we prepare for Allume. Also, I had the bright idea of launching my new site right in the middle of it all. :D

We know that harsh words can stir up anger, and gentle words can turn it away. Gentle words have power behind them just as harsh words do. They have the power to encourage obedience in our children. When we treat our children with respect, they are more apt to obey happily.

It’s interesting, because a few years ago I believed that a strong arm and forceful obedience was necessary for children. But the truth is, that can actually push them away or merely create children who obey out of fear. I want more than that for my children. I don’t want them to obey because I threaten them or because they fear punishment (although at times, that may be necessary).

I want my children to obey for the same reason God wants me to obey: out of love.

Am I making it easy or difficult for my children to love me? Am I the kind of person they want to be around, or are they looking for the exit just as soon as they can escape? That’s not the kind of mom I want to be!

I want my words to uplift and speak life so that my children are empowered to obey. Encouragement is an important tool in life to help us get through.

I am not saying we should never speak a firm word to our children. But, there is a difference between firm and harsh.

A firm tone is simply a tone that says you mean business. A harsh tone is nothing less than mean. It’s talking down to our children. That’s obviously not what we want to aim for.

How can we help our children obey today?

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Filed Under: 31 Days to a Gentle Answer, Living for Him
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