Day 22 {a Gentle Answer} Shows Control

It wasn’t until a year or two ago I ever considered the fact that our children can get stressed and react on that stress. When circumstances get stressful, my children can “act out”; at least, that’s how it looks from the outside.

But really, they are coping with their own stress–and they need help learning to cope in healthy ways.

No doubt hearing harsh words from mom can cause stress–especially if it’s a regular, ongoing occurrence. This would in turn cause behavior that is less than ideal and seems to come out of nowhere. There is always a root and rarely will a child act out just to “act out”.

My children are not perfect children, by any means. But I have never known them to maliciously act out just to push my buttons. Sometimes they are tired, or hungry (low blood sugar can cause mood shifts), or insecure if they are out of their normal routine; especially if it’s frequent.

When we are careful about how our words come out, we show our wisdom through controlling our anger. Controlling our anger then reduces our stress and the stress we put on our children. Another word for stress is “burden” or “affliction”.

Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit–it cannot be accomplished in our own strength. We must call on the Lord to help us — and He will! When I pray, He meets me there and guides me through that day.

Prayer is the key to accomplishing anything God has for us. Do not neglect it.

Sometimes we can grow weary of working toward the same thing for too long (like, 31 days). But the Bible talks consistently about being persistent and not growing weary of doing good.

This is a process!! It will not change over night. If you think about it, these 31 Day series are quite brilliant for habit making and soul changing!

So, what are some practical ways we can show control through our anger?

  • Pray. Pray before the day begins and pray when you’re in the midst of anger. Step out of the room for a few moments to remove yourself from the situation and regroup through prayer.
  • Be slow to speak. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just be quiet.
  • Step outside. Breathe deep the fresh air. Seriously. It’s good for your brain and your lungs. It may help soothe the emotions to help you think clearly again.

Remember how precious your children are. Look past their imperfections into something greater they possess. They are a gift. God made us their mothers to help unleash their potential in order to glorify Him. He wants us to succeed, and He’s willing to help! We need only ask, and step out in faith.

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Comments

  1. Natasha Metzler says:

    Love this, Christin. So. so. so. good.

  2. Thank you for this post today I sure needed it. I have been working very hard on having a soft and gentle answer but I completely blew it this morning. If anyone has any tips/ideas to help me with a 6yr old girl who argues about everything I would appreciate the help.

  3. deep breathing for a moment or two before you speak whenever you’re stress will help make sure the words you speak are encouraging and not just reactive of the stress you’re feeling

  4. Christin, enjoyed meeting you in person at Allume this weekend. This series is great and much needed in my home right now. You should make this into an ebook! Blessings to you!

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