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Do you ever find yourself frustrated with the constant amount of house work there is to do? Then in turn take it out on the children?
Oooh yes…this is a sore point for me.
House work is my foe. It is never ending and I struggle to find any fulfillment or satisfaction in it because it is inevitable that when you spend two hours cleaning, it’s back to being a mess within 10 minutes. And I do not exaggerate–it’s been proven over and over again that this cycle is the only promising thing about house work.
There is no sense of accomplishment because nothing is ever fully accomplished. The mess keeps coming back!
And how easy is it to put blame on the beautiful blessings who can’t help but live life and make messes?
How do our words effect the home environment as a whole? Do they bring refreshing or are they cutting?
“You better clean that up when you’re done.”
“I cannot believe you trashed the living room after I just cleaned it!”
“Can’t you guys pick up after yourselves?”
Seriously, these are consistent phrases in my home.
What I am doing is setting up an atmosphere of fear because my children are afraid to do anything in the house because I might grumble about it! Am I making my children feel guilty for wanting to play and live life, because I have to clean up after them?
Sally Clarkson says in her new, co-authored book, Desperate:
A happy mom is a real gift to her children. A good attitude about work makes her children feel that she is glad that she is a mom and that she is thankful for her children. She communicates to them that even with a full workload, she is fulfilled and content.
She goes on to say,
The attitude I adopt every day has the potential to affect the whole demeanor of my home.
House work will always be there. It is something I just need to accept and work into my life. Putting blame on the children and causing guilt by my grumbling is not how I want my children to grow up and remember living in this home with me. It’s not worth it!
So, today, I resolve to not complain about the mess.
I do believe there will be a lot less coming out of my mouth!
And when it is time to work together and get things in order, I will do so with a positive tone so that my children do not feel beaten by my words because they have been creating life in their home.
Do you struggle in this area, too?
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I have been learning this same lesson; it always amazes me how my attitude or words more than any other in our home can change the whole atmosphere.
And as for the cleaning … I have the kids help me every afternoon at 3 (Daddy gets home at 4) before they go out to play. That helps them appreciate the job a bit more and even the toddler is learning it’s easier to put it back when you’re done — and I have not had to “nag” as much. But yes, there are days I just “give up” till bedtime on the cleaning because I can’t take it getting destroyed in less than twenty minutes!
I have been conscious of my tone when these statements come out of my mouth lately, but I have a really hard time just letting the mess ‘be’. I don’t have issues with messes created from play, but it’s the dirty clothes in the living room, shoes under the table, wrappers or cartons from food that has been eaten just discarded wherever….I feel that I am constantly picking up ‘junk’ that should be a no-brainer (it takes just as much time to toss it in the garbage as it does to lay it on the table). So, I do still try to get them to ‘see the mess’ and take some initiative with these type of things….but I am learning to control my tone and irritation with the situation better. It’s so hard when your kids are old enough to help pick up after themselves and they just don’t…..I say, “I’m not your maid” way too much, but seriously…can’t you just put your sucker stick in the garbage and not on the table?
Oh my goodness these just hit closer to home each day! Are you sure you weren’t peeking into the windows of my home? This was an eye opener. Great topic and so true when you are a stay at home mom to 4 kids aged 2-7! Thank you
Thank you for this post. It’s like you were standing in my living room or reading my mind. I am trying so hard this month to curb my frustrations with housework and my almost 7 year old daughter.
Great post! So true in my home too many times. I am with you on stepping out of my normal, and changing my words and tone. I will let them create life and also help them to clean it up! ;o)
This has been on my heart also. Why? Because my kids are saying some of these things. It is always worse when you hear your voice in your kids. Thank you for the great post!!
Thankyou so much for writing this. I am so frustrated with the never ending cycle of housework but more so with my attitude about it and how the negativity pours out over the 3 beautiful children i have been blessed with. I will be following these posts and pledging to banish the negative for a happier mummy and a happier home!
Great post {and series} my friend! Oh, the neverending housework – yes it makes me grouchy! I’ll try to watch my attitude more and make sure I show my son that I am grateful to be his mother and to have a home to clean!