What Infertility Has Taught Me About Motherhood

Today’s guest post is by Natasha of To Live for Him.

The first time someone said it, I cringed and shook. The reference to my “not knowing” about motherhood. It was a true statement. But still a painful one.

The last time someone said it, I gently answered, “That may be true but I’ve learned a lot of lessons in this ‘not knowing’.”

Something happens when you’re one step outside a circle. Your perspective is different and sometimes different is good.

So I’m going to offer a tip to mothers. One thing that I have discovered in my not knowing of motherhood.

There is nothing your child can do that another hasn’t done before.

That’s it.

Simple, I know.

But I’ve watched so many mothers’ duck in embarrassment over their children’s actions that I feel compelled to say it.

That fit your child just threw, randomly, out of nowhere? Every child has done it.

That attitude they just offered, where usually they are so sweet? It’s happened.

That whine that just made your nerves spaz out? Heard it more times than I can count.

That total ignoring of the instruction you just gave? Over and over and over.

There is nothing your child can do that another hasn’t done before.

You don’t have to be embarrassed.

You do have to teach, to train, to instruct but you don’t have to be embarrassed.

Embarrassment brings either apathy or anger.

Apathy will leave wild, undisciplined children. Anger will leave wild, angry children. And I’m guessing that those aren’t the outcomes you desire for your babies.

Relax in your parenting, Moms. Don’t be lax but relax. Your job is to train your children because they need training. So don’t be shocked when they demonstrate that need.

If you lose the shock factor, acknowledge that there is nothing that they can do that others haven’t done, then your response to them will be filled with grace.

I do not mean that you allow them to get away with anything. That’s not what grace is. But the embarrassment? The ensuing anger or apathy? Those can be tossed to the wayside.

You don’t need to be horrified at behavior, or worried about what your friend may think, or spiral into thoughts of failure.

Solomon said,

Train up a child in the way he should go… (Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

And he also said,

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV)

My greatest prayer? That you dear ones, who have been trusted with so great a task, will first and foremost work at showing your babies the way to the cross. Because no one has more power to show a child the way to true life than the woman who gave them life in the first place.

So, from this Mama-wannabe, to all you Moms: enjoy your babies. Kiss them a few extra times for me. Remember, this road has been traveled many times.

And though I may be standing on the side-lines; I am rooting for you- every step of the way.

Natasha is a farmer’s wife who blogs about brokenness and being made whole in Christ at To Live For Him.