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This week I’m posting as part of the 5 Days of Mothering & Homemaking series. My series is on cleaning and getting your children involved (or more involved). To view the other 21 contributors and their topics, go here.
After all the photo hunting I did for this post, I couldn’t find anything that suited it. So I settled for cupcakes.
Teamwork
There’s a difference between working side by side “together” and working together.
Teaching our children to work as a team when it comes to keeping house is a great way to teach problem solving skills, help them learn to appreciate each other, and build their relationships.
In Cleaning House, the author, Kay, talks specifically about working together on projects outside the normal house keeping duties.
I have seen my children rise to the occasion of working together toward a common goal before, so I definitely know they are capable. And Gabriella, my almost 10 year old (next week, eek!), is a leader at heart and can naturally delegate and direct her siblings to specific jobs to help the completion of the project.
Typically, a project that benefits them offers more motivation–understandably.
For example, {and this is a small project, suitable for my small children}, if my children want to bring down the Legos, they know the rule is they can only play with them at the kitchen table. However, if the table is cluttered with stuff, they first have to clear it off. Small project, but the principals still apply.
Work Happily
If my kids don’t work happily (and sometimes–often–they don’t), I have no one to blame but myself for that. I grumble a lot about how I “just cleaned that up” or “I can’t keep up” or whatever. Grumble. Grumble. {Bad me}.
So if working happily means it starts with me, then so be it.
Oh my, my eldest daughter is like a reflection of me. When I see some of her reactions or facial expressions, it’s like looking into a mirror of the past. I want so badly for her to only grab the good, but we live in the real world. She’s picked up some of my bad attitude, too.
When I recognize it, I really try to lighten the mood, and she does the exact thing I used to do; try to hide the fact that she’s trying not to smile or laugh, even though she wants to.
It was no accident I named this blog “Joyful Mothering”. I broke one of the classic rules of blogging {gasp!}. I know.
Rather than choosing a topic I am good at, I chose to build my blog around something I struggle with. I desire so badly to be a mom who is filled with joy in her duties and as she serves her family. But for me, that’s just not the case. I struggle.
I used to love cooking. My first born loved everything you put in front of her. Mostly still does. At age 3 she was a salad eater. Unheard of at that age! Nearly.
But as my family has grown over the years, so has the pickyness and grumbles. I no longer enjoy making meals because at least one person complains they don’t like what I’ve made. I’m totally being raw here and am not saying my reaction to this behavior is good or right.
But the truth is, it stabs me, and it makes me not want to cook. Hearing that day after day, meal after meal, it just sucks out any desire.
Children are children and it is our job as mothers to train them. This I understand. It just doesn’t make the sting any less.
This is one good reason to have your children help in the kitchen. They get experience on how much work is involved in cooking a meal.
Does anyone else struggle with having a bad attitude about such things?
I’m also over at Keeping It Personal today, sharing a quote I love. Come check it out! It’s short and sweet. Promise!
photo credit
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THANK YOU so much! This post is just what I needed as school is out and I feel like “vacation” for them means the opposite for me! I struggle with serving joyfully as well as learning how to delegate (over and over again). When I discovered your blog I was drawn in because I constantly need to work on my own “joyful mothering”. I read every day now, though, because you are honest that the joyfulness isn’t something you’ve mastered, but something you strive for. God bless you!
Just popping in from Company Girls! Love your blog, have a wonderful weekend!
My bad attitude towards cooking stems from the “constructive criticism” and/or innocent questions (“Why’d you do it that way?”) that come from my husband… He has basically taken over making dinner, now. I’m not sure exactly how that happened, and I don’t want it to stay that way, but at least, for now, I don’t have a bad attitude!! ;D
Wow! This really struck home with me. When my second child was born (my first child was 3 at the time), she didn’t sleep for the first year and a half. I was in a bad mood the whole time, because I wasn’t getting enough sleep or help from anyone. I was constantly complaining and I now regret every minute of it because it rubbed off on my now almost 6 year old daughter. She complains about everything. She’s always in a bad mood and she often tells us that we don’t love her when we discipline her or say no to her. I can see me in her when she does that. I was such a horrible example. I’m now getting plenty of sleep, and am in a much better mood, but my child is now a complainer. Still trying to figure out how to break her of this nasty habit.
A few months ago, after a conversation (me listening with an open heart) with my husband about family dinners I realized that, gradually, because of complaining and grumbling hearts at the table, I had lost the desire to prepare meals. My oldest (also a mirror for me) used to eat ANYTHING and our middle is the opposite but we started our family life not wanting to be the parents that made their kids clean their plates (which I was required to do). Because of this, each meal that wasn’t a favorite of theirs turned into a debate of “how many bites?” or “how much more do I have to eat?”, etc. Meal time became a time of arguing even though my husband and I mean what we say and don’t back down. So, we instituted new “dinner rules” that work for us. We put a reasonable amount of a variety of foods on their plates, making sure to not make anyone eat something they really hate, and require them to clean their plates. No other options. No other discussion. Meal time is back to precious family time and I am inspired to cook for my family again! The dinner rules also include no complaining or grumbling although the kiddos are allowed to speak honestly if they are respectful. I’m reminded that it’s always okay to reevaluate and change.
Enjoy reading your blog!
Great idea!! Thanks for sharing it!