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Last night we brought home a triple loft bunk bed. It’s a bunk bed with a loft connected to it (so two bunks in the air, one on the floor). It didn’t fit where we planned on putting it (despite all the measurements we took).
So, instead we switched rooms with our girls. They have the smallest room, so we took it since we don’t need the floor space for play.
However, doing that was like setting off a bomb in our house. Everything that was in our room (sans the bed and dresser) was emptied out into the living room and dining room. Who knew so much stuff could be squeezed into one bedroom!?
So on top of organizing the children’s toys in the basement, I get the added bonus of finding a home for all this other stuff.
Sometimes, I seriously feel like this is what my life looks like. Messy and out of order.
It’s going to take more than will power to get this home back in functional order. Furthermore, my homeschooling needs to be turned up a notch. We’ve literally been floating at the surface just doing the absolute basics of learning for the last couple of months. I want to go deeper. The foundation of our homeschool (and life) is Jesus Christ. I don’t want my children growing up on surfacey faith. Faith that’s only evident when it’s convenient. I believe the ways we live our very days is the way our lives our lived.
“I don’t just want my kids to be moral. I don’t just want them to know all of the biblical rules for behavior. I don’t just want them to make it through my home with good grades, no drug addiction, and no premarital sex. I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by him to accomplish great things for his kingdom.” {Quoted from a post titled He Stands in the Gap written by Sarah Mae}
Yet I feel lost as to how to accomplish this, because I can’t give them my relationship with Christ. I can only help them develop one of their own. And I have no idea how to do that. I don’t even know how I got where I am in my walk other than hearing God’s voice and just following His lead.
That’s why I want to implement a more intentional spiritual life. Not just fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants faith, but some real intentional, set-aside time to pray, worship, and just be with God. Because it’s something I feel like I need. Not because I feel guilty or want to be legalistic. I need to be and remain connected to the Spirit in order to accomplish anything. And so do my children.
Currently I am using a Journible to write out Psalm 119 one verse at a time. I also just began You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth. Oh friends, this book is already pulling at my heart strings. On Facebook yesterday I modified a quote from her book and posed it as a question. Now I know I’m not alone.
I asked,
Does the brokenness in your life make it hard to believe you could ever be amazing?
What’s your answer?
Edited and updated from the archives
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I agree Christin.. this is exactly what the Ministry of Motherhood book study is dealing with this week. The gift of inspiration. At this season in my life (with a 20 yr old home from college with all sorts of new attitudes and an 18 year old just about to graduate) I find that I have to do a lot more intentional prayer for my girls. Stormie Omartian in her book The Power of the Praying Parent highlights this alot. SPECIFIC PRAYER is important. My husband and I set aside time on a Sunday to pray for our family and others, but I just told him today that we need to pray together EVERYDAY for some of the issues. I have found that our prayers are richer, our relationship more intimate when we do pray together for our intentions. God Bless your efforts!
You amaze me. I just love your heart and your passion to follow hard after Him. You inspire me. Really. You do. I love you, girl!
Me? Seriously, I am just an ordinary girl. Really. Struggling and stumbling through this life. Love you too my dear friend! ((hugs)) (And thank you. You bless me).
Sometimes the brokenness is disheartening, but other times, I can find encouragement even in the midst of it. It reminds me that anything amazing comes from the Lord, not my own strength!
Right now, my living room is covered in a massive lego project. They are sorted by color all over the floor…and we have company coming tomorrow.
Ha that’s awesome Erin! At least Legos has some sort of order to it. Mine is just an explosion of STUFF. LOL Much of it doesn’t even have a home yet because we’re restructuring our storage. Thanks for stopping by!
It is in brokenness that I finally saw myself the way God does. In Him, I am amazingly loved. I bought that book for my niece and hope to borrow it when she’s done. BTW, I love to organize. Can I come over and play?
I actually like it, too! I’m just a tad overwhelmed at the moment. We still need to purchase some shelving to store much of the stuff.
My children are now 19 and 23, and there was a time when they were younger where I despaired because I felt like I wasn’t seeing the “fruit” that I wanted to see. Interestingly enough, it seems like I saw more fruit AFTER they turned 18 than before. Maybe because I was too close to see it, and maybe because once they each started at a secular college they were more determined to show their faith.
The older one said he’d never go to a Christian college and so started at a secular one after he graduated. That didn’t last long and he finished up his last two years of college at a Christian one.
I like what you said about developing a more intentional spiritual life. I think, when we do that, we are more aware of how we need to pray for our children because we are God directed and also we are more sensitive to what we are seeing in them. We become more focused NOT on what we see outwardly but what we’re seeing inwardly.
We see their negative attitudes and discipline issues and outward behaviors and react to that, but what we really want to see is what’s inside their heart too. If we ONLY see and discipline them for their outward actions, we won’t DISCIPLE them inwardly. We want them to understand that their heart attitude directs their actions.
I can totally relate to your living room as well. My mom moved in with us over four years ago after my dad died. We had to make room for her in the kitchen, bathroom, and give her her own bedroom. Over the years she has brought home boxes and boxes of her stuff from storage to sort through them, and our family room had become a nightmare of boxes. It was finally getting better but now our oldest son has moved back home after living at an out of state college. Now *his* boxes of kitchen/apartment stuff are in the family room, lol! (I’m so happy to have him home that I’ll take the mess…..)
This post spoke right to where my heart is at. Just last night I was thinking about my mothering and my children…I was thinking, “What is the most important thing for my children to have when they leave our home?” And my answer is…to love God and His Word. So how am I doing with that?? Not too good.
So my heart was crying out as I read about your concern over how to help your children develop their own relationship with Christ. Looking forward to reading more ideas as you share them!!
Blessings,
Kelly
I struggle with this, my desire for perfection, versus my desire to raise morally balanced children and have a clean house versus a lived in house. WOw it makes my head spin.