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Welcome to the first day of digging into Pursuit of Proverbs 31!! I am SO happy to see so many women who want to go deeper with God and serve their husbands in a fresh way!
If you’re new here or have NO idea what Pursuit of Proverbs 31 is, go here for a synopsis. We invite you to join us!
If you have not bought the eBook yet, you can still purchase it and begin with us today.
If you plan to join us, it really is necessary to own the eBook in order to get the most out of this study. It’s only $4.99 and it is filled with wonderful truths and Bible study tools specifically for this study that you don’t want to miss.
Amy is going to share some thoughts here and then I’ll add a few more thoughts of my own under the video…so without further ado…
{if you’re reading in a reader or through email, click here to view the video}
Over the years, I have read many books and blogs on being an excellent wife and mother. Many of them had the same running theme: sacrifice, service, selflessness. This is no surprise, as everyone who calls herself a disciple of Christ is expected to be these things.
But I began to recognize some slight twists in some of the teachings. One book even said that we should “worship” our husbands – and it was a Christian book! What’s worse is I *almost* believed it. We must be so careful the material we take in. We must test it and try it against scripture. We know that God’s word says to have no other gods before Him. Worshiping a husband is a direct violation of that. Yet the author justified it by saying, and I’m paraphrasing here, “As long as you don’t put your husband ‘above God’, but keep him on the same level with God…”. Um, no! No one should have the place in our lives that God has.
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26
The word “hate” here means, “to love less”, according to Strong’s Hebrew Dictionary. In other words, our love for God should be so great, that it makes love for anyone else pale in comparison. So what that author was teaching was clearly not supported by Scripture. We must test everything.
Amy makes an excellent point and caution that when we work and strive and pursue this Proverbs 31 woman so intensely, we have made her an idol in our lives. We have made this image something we spend all our time and energy chasing after, believing that if we can grab a hold of it, God will be pleased with us.
Wrong.
God is already pleased with you. Not because you’re perfect, but because you’re His. And He would much rather have you spend that kind of time seeking hard after Him.
Is it wrong to do good? No! But it is bondage when we set standards on ourselves we could never possibly reach.
Read over the myths in Amy’s book again and pray that God would release any (or all!) of them that have been holding you in bondage.
Discussion: Which myth has griped you the most and why do you think that is?
The Series:
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Thank you so much for sharing this with us! I am really looking forward to all of the discussion.
Absolutely, Chantel! And be sure to add your input, too!
I’m so excited about this study!! I have always been intrigued by the Proverbs 31 woman. I never realized that she was sort of a vision from a mother for her son though. That makes much more sense. I feel pressure to keep the house spotless and be that mother you see on t.v. always happy and playing fun games with her kids. I feel pressure to do both and in reality it’s hard to keep a tidy house and raise children. I look at other women and think wow they have it all together,why can’t I? I guess we are all good in different areas and we just have to learn to embrace those and work on the others. She is beautiful because of the love she gives out. Being a servant is what our roles as wives and mothers are about,imitating Christ to our families. Thanks Amy for your book and thanks Christin for hosting this study!
Exactly, Heather! I never realized the story behind the chapter either until I sat down to study it. I was blown away to find that it was not some mandate from God like I had always been taught. Thanks so much for participating in the study!
I so appreciate what Amy says, “I like approval – but that’s not what faith is about”. She mentions cookie cutters and working for approval. I can say time and time again how I beat myself up because I was “working” my way to being good and always (always) falling short.
In her southern twang – “You are His and You are loved” …. I just want more of HIM
Girl, you know you love my southern twang!
Thank you Amy..first for being willing to let God use you in this to reach out to other women. Letting us in to some of what God has shown you.
It is so great to get a fresh look at the Proverbs 31 women and what the intent really was. Instead of what many of us have been taught…
We tend to hold ourselves and others to this unattainable standard that is impossible to reach.
And if we don’t reach it or others don’t then there is something wrong with us and them.
Instead of asking God what He wants for us as women.. wives..moms…..or where ever we are as women in our every day life.
I know that I tend to compare and have held myself to others standards and what others think. The need for approval…. is a difficult thing to live…
God used somethings these last several months to pull me out of that approval mode. And realize that what others expect is not important..But that only what God wants from me is what really matters…. and sometimes these things come thru deep hurt from others before we realize it.
I am so looking forward to what God will have for all of us in this study.
Chrissy
Thank YOU, Chrissy! I am so glad to see you here.
I definitely ascribe to the to do list for women. I cringe everytime I read this chapter and think, I have to do it all! I have been burning out by thinking this way. Thank you, Amy, for your commitment to this study and your unique perspective that I need today.
Is there not a Pdf version?
The PDF version is here: http://pursuitofproverbs31.com/buy-it/
Then click: Add to Cart
I have always loved my to-do lists because it kept me on track. I viewed the Proverbs 31 as a no-nonsense check list for my life & I never could get everything done like her, which led to intense frustrations toward myself. From now on I need one task on my to-do list: SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
Amen! That is exactly right!
Amen!! That is what my Dear Hubby quotes all the time! It is so true & I am thankful for this study! It is a blessing…you are so real Amy & I truly love & appreciate you for doing this amazing study…how freeing it is!
I have been drawn to and scared of the Proverbs 31 woman. I desire to be like her, in mind that meant that I had accomplished all I was called to do. I know that is so very wrong. The myth that has dragged me down the most is believing that I have to do it all, that I am not going to be the Godly woman my husband and Children need if I do not check off each verse every day. And if I do not do it all I will be a failure to all who rely on me and I will be a failure in my own eyes. Part of me knows this is wrong, but the other part of me still pushes to reach those unattainable goals each day. Insert my to-do list
… I am working on and praying that my way of thinking be changed. I am so excited for this study because I want to be Proverbs 31 minded without running myself into the ground and trying to do so many things at once that they all get neglected. I was blessed by todays video especially the part about needing to keep my eyes on God and not the boxes that need to be checked off. I know that if I move my focus from being the perfect woman to being a woman led by God that my boxes will get checked off as they need to, as God sees fit.
Tonya,
I know what you mean. That superwoman mentality is something that we all want even when we know how impossible it is. I hope we can overcome that together. so glad to see you here!
Amy, I so love hearing your heart concerning the Proverbs 31 woman. I believe you are right on target with the heart of Our Father. My favorite part of Chapter 1 is the scriptures shared from the book of John about being born of the spirit. Making a decision to begin or develop a relationship with God Himself. This relationship truely is the beginning of becoming a wife of noble character. No accomplished check list can ever compare to a heart overflowing with love or joy or peace or goodness. As we yeild our heart over to Him the very nature of God will ooze out to those in need, be that our husband, our children, our neighbors, and on. Reminding myself once again to please God not through my LISTS OF “TO DO” but simply focus in my heart on how ”TO BE.”
I love you, girl!
I have to say I’ve never really been to intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman because I’ve never taken a really close look at her, based on the things I’ve heard and read by other women. I avoided her by all costs. Well, I’m happy to say that the shackles have been releases from a bondage I didn’t even know I had. Finding out ( and reading for myself) that the Proverbs 31 woman is a dream/prayer written by a woman for her son, did that for me. I don’t have to measure up to someone elses dream. So now as a mother, how do I pray for my sons’ future wives and what dreams do I have for them, not the Proverbs 31 woman. It’s a release as a mother and a daughter in law.
I so enjoyed your video Amy and I’m looking forward to this study even more. I’ve just been reawakened out of a depression I’ve been in a very long time ( and didn’t know) so I’m hungry for God and for His Word and learning!!! Love the book so far as well. Thanks so much Christin for hosting this. for allowing God to work through you n this way. Have a great week ladies. I will be sure to pray for everyone in this study. I have a feeling it will be a life changing thing! God Bless!!
Amen! And praise Him for helping you out of that depression. I’m so glad to hear that. I’m so glad you are joining us!
Thank you, Amy, for sharing your heart in this study. Thank you, also, Christin, for hosting this study here on your blog. I just know that this will bless and free so many women from the bonds we place on ourselves.
Like many others, I have always viewed these verses as a checklist, but it is so freeing to see that it is more of “the heart” of the woman that is the point. That a mother wants a wife for her son that loves him and fears God.
I look forward to reading more in the coming weeks!
Thank YOU, Ralene! It is freeing isn’t it? We’ve been in bondage to our lists for a long time. It is time for freedom.
I am so glad you are joining us.
Okay, i have several thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head. These are a few: I feel that I need to be everything to my husband and now reading and researching, I should be everything I can be to God. This means to me the Quantity vs. Quality theory in my relationship with God, my husband, my children, etc. Time with them should increase and I should not be sweating the small stuff, like being behind on my housekeeping schedule, or trying to be like some of the women I think “do it all.” God made me and loves me and doesn’t want anything more for me but to love him and love my neighbor as much as I love him and myself. I am excited to find out more about God and myself.
This is so exciting! God is so good to us and we have been so cruel to ourselves. We could never be the women we expect ourselves to be. Thankfully with Him there is victory over these mindsets and freedom from expectations. I am so glad you joined us this week, Jamie!
its going to be hard to wait another week!!!
I know!
I know I would read that chapter and I’d instantly feel inadequate. Yes, I can sew. No I can’t weave. Yes, I do the shopping, but I don’t have a garden, nor do I have any land. But even if I did, how could I have the hours in a day to do all these things PLUS shower attention and affection to my family. And again, I would just feel like an UTTER failure before I ever got started.
I never thought the chapter was a mother’s wishes for her son. I have a son. And I have dreams and aspirations for him. And when Amy said it was the mother’s wishful thinking for her son, it made such PERFECT sense to me. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t strive to be the best at all that I do, but it doesn’t mean that I need to be THAT woman.
OH you have no idea how excited I am right now! Yes, we are to strive to be the best…the best woman He designed us to be! Not, the woman of P31! Amen!
So I wrote a post about this on my blog; is that okay? Here is the link, but Christin, take it down if necessary
http://barrenwoman.blogspot.com/2012/03/pursuit-of-proverbs-31-woman-week-1.html
I struggle with the “to do” mentality the Proverbs 31 woman inspires in me. I LOVED reading Matthew 6 and then re-reading the Proverbs chapter. To realize I “just” need to seek God in order to be a Proverbs 31 woman…astounding (and I have a theology degree!). I needed to see that; to be given permission to simply seek God and let HIM accomplish those things through me. I love it!!
It’s totally fine, Rachel. Thank you for sharing with us!
I am so relieved that in order for me to be a “Godly” Woman I do not have to be all and do all that is in Proverbs 31. I know that every time I read Proverbs 31 I’d try to do everything it said to do and then I’d get burned out and frustrated and quit…until the next time I’d read Proverbs 31 and then I’d start all over again. Whew! Glad that’s over with! I only need to seek God and let him take care of the rest through me.
Definitely the to do list for Christian women . I always feel I need to measure up to all things it says and it is hard to do!
I have been really dumb. I knew Proverbs 31 was written by Solomon’s mother, but somehow I thought it was a real woman! No wonder I’ve been struggling… I’ve been trying to imitate somebody else’s dream. That was the biggest myth that was shattered for me as I read the first chapter.
I’m looking forward to learning more about being a true P31 woman after God’s own heart. Thank you Amy, for letting God minister to us through you. And, thank you Christin for this study!
I’m so excited for this!! The way you are leading us to scripture in the book is awesome and much appreciated, too many times these books are wrote without a direct reference to the word. Thankfully I have to say I’ve always seen the P31 woman as a metaphor, lucky for me! If anything though the thing I beat myself up the most about is not providing fresher meals and a cleaner home for my family, but constantly pray that God places it in my heart to do these things to glorify HIM! I have a lot of notes and will also be writin a blog post about each week! Thank you both for sharing this journey!
Oh and Amy, thank you for being REAL! I love that you didn’t do yourself up all fancy for the video and had your toddler sleeping on you the whole time, really made me comfortable!
I was just now able to sit down and do this first chapter and I’m already loving this! I would love to be able to find more scripture on instruction for women though as Amy suggests at the end of the chapter. Has anyone else been able to find some? I’m having a hard time.
I must admit, I had never heard of – let alone read about – the Proverbs 31 woman until a few weeks ago. I came across this study in an email from a blog and it drew me in and I decided I needed to participate. But – even though I didn’t know anything about this, I have definitely been living the “checklist” of “musts.” Somewhere over the last 2 years, I have lost sight of why God allowed me to be able to stay home with my children in the first place, and I have been driving myself – and my kids and husband – crazy trying to accomplish too much, and in turn, I have been spending too much time doing one thing (keeping the house spotless is a huge one) and not enough time reading to my children, etc. My son, Garrison, 5 weeks, took an ambulance and a helicopter ride when he was 2 weeks old because he stopped breathing (he is totally fine now), and ever since then, something changed in me and I saw how off course I had gotten. I am hoping that by studying this, I can learn to serve God better, and in turn, serve my family properly and let go of the perfectionism. I feel like I could go on and on, haha! A lot of what you said rung true to me, especially about the distractions – and I have tears in my eyes.
Thankful for this opportunity!
Oh welcome, welcome!!! Yes, please take off the weight and leave it at the cross. We have something new and fresh and freeing!
First of all, I want to say that …I love Amy Bayliss! I’ve followed her blog for some time now and I love that’s she so transparent and real. I loved hearing her voice. Holding her sleeping little one in her arms says so much to me; that’s life.
I purchased her e-book and I’m so glad we can read it together and comment here. Loving God is the greatest commandment and I find as I do, He puts things into proper perspective. He gives me such a love for my husband. The Bible says we are to respect our husbands. As I look for things I can respect about Greg and tell him, he seems to show me more love. This isn’t manipulative but I have to say that it works.
I look forward to these posts and will subscribe to your blog.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
The biggest myth was thinking that if I were the perfect Proverbs 31 wife that would mean I would have a perfect home, children and marriage. Especially believing that if I strived to be this woman, my husband would love me more and lavish praise over me. Boy did I learn a lot! Not that my husband doesnt love me or praise me, but I had to learn how to meet his needs as HIS wife, and allow God to show me what that meant. I think that is the essence of this woman, learning how to rise up and be the woman God created you to be. It may look similar to her, but won’t be exactly like her.