Re-Thinking Traditional American Christmas

December 7, 2011 By Christin 25 Comments

Whoa. Say what?!

Got your attention didn’t I? Yea, God’s been doing that to me lately, too. But hear me out on this, mmm kay?

Wish lists. Credit cards. Stress over who to buy for and what to buy. How much to spend on each child and worry about how to explain why they got one [expensive] gift while his sister got five [less expensive] gifts. Greed. Discontent. Covetousness.

Seriously. That’s all I see surrounding Christmas and it even creeps up in my own home. I don’t like it. It’s not the way Christmas was meant to be celebrated. Giving, yes. But not in hopes that someone is giving to us. But rather that we are giving–and training our children in the same.

St. Nicholas, for example, didn’t bring toys to greedy children. He took money to needy families. How is it we have allowed these things that we are warned against in the Bible, to creep in during Christmas? Why is it OK during this time of the year? Might I suggest an alternative? Even just a slight alteration?

Ban the wish lists from your children, and even your own. Lay it aside. Grab a clean piece of reality and fill it in with those in need. Serious. There are cultures who don’t even have one verse of the Bible. Not one. Because it hasn’t been translated into their language. Give the gift of God’s word. What greater gift is there?!

Or how about the gift of chickens so one can have eggs? Or dental care, God’s Word, building materials, or any number of things we take for granted.

Sometimes the truth is hard, but friends, we are so spoiled here. We really are! We are a blessed people!! Let’s not waste it, friends. Let’s use what God has given us to truly love others. It’s the Gospel lived out in it’s simplest form–giving to the least of these. Will you help?

Will you share with your children how God has blessed them so they can bless others? That it might be a sacrifice to let some things go, but isn’t it worth it?

Let’s help our children learn to see outside of themselves–let us look outside ourselves. As so hard as it is in a culture that screams for more stuff. We don’t know anything else, do we? It takes a lot of work and shift in perspective to really grab a hold of something counter cultural.

Let God lead you and comfort you. Let Him assure you your gift won’t go to waste.

I am not suggesting to not bless your children. But I do challenge you to rethink the method and the message of Christmas. Rather than buying all the latest and greatest, focus on the needs of your children.

Do they need new clothes or shoes? School supplies or educational materials? Creative arts equipment or supplies? Things that will help them grow and nurture their gifts and talents.

This may be the only time you see me write about Christmas. Even I have been challenged by these very things, because I am still wrestling with the comfort of what I’ve always known. What I’ve always known simply isn’t satisfying this souls thirst to love beyond my own comfort.

It’s like, one day I just woke up and saw the great needs I didn’t see before. I can’t explain it, except that it’s God moving in me. Molding my heart. Teaching me about compassion and what love really looks like. If you have to, start small. We all need to start somewhere–and somewhere is better than nowhere.

My goal isn’t to push anything on anyone–but to challenge you’re thinking–to offer you a new perspective–to show you that God does call us to something greater than ourselves.

What are we going to do with it?

A Change of Christmas

Photo Credit

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Christmas

http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

THANK YOU for having the courage to write this post! Truth is, the Lord began working on us the very year we came to salvation (14 years ago!). BC (Before Christ) our Christmases were all about santa, buying gifts we couldn’t afford, and rushing from one set of grandparents to the next. Miserable! It’s been a slow and steady progression, but we are now at the place where there is no money to buy anything extra (*smile!), so gifts are handmade. There is no room in our cozy, tiny house for a tree, so out went that life-long tradition (really, we are all okay with it!). We do still celebrate the birth of our Savior, just not in the traditional sense. Hey lady, maybe (just maybe!) I will have the courage to write a post about this myself…Thank you again!

http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

Oh Cheryl, I almost bailed on posting this last night. I did. I thought, “no one is going to care to read this because it’s a hard truth to face.”
It is hard to reverse a way of thinking I’ve lived with my whole life. But it’s also freeing! It truly is.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, Cheryl. I appreciate it so very much. It is so nice to know I am not alone here.

Anonymous

great post Christin, I agree with you, there is too much emphasis on receiving and less in giving! thank for sharing your thoughts, with us here!
http://bohemianbowmans.com/ Jessica

This is our second year of not purchasing gifts for anyone. I have to say, it’s really freeing.
http://www.indulgentaromas.com Nicole

We are unexpectedly short on funds this year so we had to get creative about gifts. However, we have always used Christmas (and birthdays) to get our kids practical gifts. That’s usually when they get the most of their wardrobe necessities and they get books and learning ‘stuff’. Also we are very big on getting them gifts that encourage the inclusion of God into everyday lives….via books, games, clothing, videos, etc. As a result, my children are overjoyed if someone gets them ‘practical’ gifts. I don’t want to sound like I am bragging by any means, but it’s nice to have the kids that don’t just throw the new outfit aside while digging for the newest, throwaway toy

http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

I totally get you Nicole. Our children still have needs to be met and I don’t see anything wrong with filling that need during this time.

And on the other hand, when we buy gifts for others, can we focus on their needs as well (if funds allow for buying outside the immediate family). You know? I find it to be such a guilt-laden burden to feel like we need to buy for everyone close to us outside our immediate family. That is a burden we should never have to bear. Giving is good, yes! But what kind of giving are we talking about and in what capacity. You know?

http://www.indulgentaromas.com Nicole

That is exactly what I was getting at. Sometimes you see a practical need and buy a gift reflecting that. Then the child almost acts offended that you’d ‘waste a gift’ on something so boring. That is when the guilt-laden buying gets irritating. Why am I spending my $$ on children (or often times adults) that aren’t appreciative. I’d rather spend it on people that appreciate your thought. Getting off subject, I know……..but this inspired my post today

http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

Yes! I totally see what you’re saying. Absolutely! Going to read your post now!

http://www.thecolorspectrum.blogspot.com Colleen

You are echoing my thoughts, this has been on my mind as well! Thank you for sharing it and God bless you this joyful season!
Kaki

This is a such a perfect post for me.
Sometimes we equate giving our children a joyous Christmas with lots of expensive gifts. I am working hard at building a wonderful holiday season with activities and giving that is pleasing to the Lord!
I am so glad there are other moms out there that feel the way I do.
Jbirthmom

Amen! I am in the process of of reframing my thinking when it comes to the holidays. I am not in the place to host a gathering-small apartment, tight budget. My older children and I draw names, but they do not need more “things” I am giving alternative giving gift cards where they can choose to help others. I have been studying living more with less concepts this year and am just overwhelmed by the consumerism that is out there. Thank you for your post.
http://www.facebook.com/colleen.vukosich Colleen Vukosich

I believe the Lord has been working this in us as well. We have not done much in the way of our ‘old’ tradition. We are thinking and re-thinking a new tradition of helping others this year. I have to say that it is really freeing to not have to think about what to buy for who.
http://www.christiansupermom.com/blog-2 Rosann

Great post Christin. I’m not sure my husband and I will ever be “brave” enough to stop buying gifts for our children at Christmas. Even this year, as tight as our finances are, our children are getting something under the tree on Christmas morning. I am adamant about making sure Christ remains in our hearts throughout the season and that my children know exactly why we are celebrating Christmas in the first place. You have given me a new perspective that I hadn’t necessarily considered before. Well, that’s not totally true. I’ve always known Jesus wants us to give to those in need, I’ve just not put forth enough effort, in my mind, to do so. I always feel like we should give more to others. Right now, we just don’t have the financial resources to do so. But helping others is not always about money. This is a nice reminder.

Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas.
Rosann

http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

Hi Rosann! Thanks so much for commenting and sharing your thoughts.

I totally get what you’re saying. The shift is a difficult one. I struggle right now with not putting something under the tree for my children. That’s why we made the decision to stick to things they need.

It’s not as if they don’t have grandparents who also give to them generously. They do. And my children are pretty grateful for whatever they get.

The idea of banning the wish list though, helps to get rid of the “gimmies”, and curb “disappointment” (read: discontentment) for not getting “what they wanted”. If my husband and I choose what to bless them with, the perspective is different even in their minds.
And again, gifts are limited as our budget doesn’t change in December. We use cash. In fact, it lessens due to bills that only come up during this month of the year!

But even if our budget was bigger, that would just enable to give more. Because really? Our children aren’t lacking. They really aren’t! But every family is different and finances vary. Decide for your family and do what you can. Blessings to you!

Crystal Finley

I always get gifts for my children, but they always have to also give gifts themselves. I believe in teaching my children the value of giving and the value of receiving and being thankful. I want them to receive gifts from my husband and I, from grandparents and if any friend gives them anything to receive it and learn to be thankful no matter the gift and also by accepting the gift they are learning to bless the person who gave it. I am also teaching them how to give, they each, each year pick a friend that they want to bless, a friend who needs it, a friend who maybe don’t have much or someone they really want to bless, someone God put on their heart. Each of my kids take a gift to that child in school, plus as a family we pick another family to either give gifts too or a gift card to help bless the family in need. I love this time of year and all the lessons I can teach my kids, i feel blessed that I can bless my kids each year with gifts and i love seeing their faces and how happy they are each christmas morning. God is good and we should always spread that Joy onto others so they can also be blessed, we like to show the love of God to others and each year we are blessed by doing so.
Joy

I have the unique and very blessed opportunity to be able to create whatever I want for Christmas outside the US. We don’t have the commercialization and therefore, we are able to focus on what is really important so much more easily. Love this post Christin! Thanks for sharing your heart!
http://openmindsandopenhearts.blogspot.com Amy

I totally agree. I have some posts planned on this type of thing too-though some of them are still in my head. My husband and I have never gotten gifts for each other and I gave up getting them for kids quickly when I saw how much junk they got from everyone else. (Any ideas on how to get the grandparents to stop spoiling? My oldest is four and a half and I don’t want him to start in with the greed.) This also means we don’t “do” Santa. We are doing the no gifts fro anyone else thing for the first time this year. It will be interesting to see how they all take it…
Anonymous

Thanks for sharing, Joy. Amen to all you’ve said. We tried one year to forego adult gifts and asked everyone to pitch in on a World Vision cow or something. It didn’t go over well. I was sad. But we do some things that take our kids’ focus off themselves: On Christmas Day with the extended family, they have to pass out all the gifts to others before they are allowed to open any of their own. They don’t make lists. We made a box and each person is going to fill out a card that says, “If I could give you anything at all, regardless of the cost, I would give you….” Also, I take them individually shopping to buy gifts for their siblings…just dollar store gifts, but they so enjoy doing this and wrapping them and putting them under the tree. We absolutely try to focus on giving. Yes, the inevitable extended family member will ask them what they want. My 7yo recently replied to an uncle: ”I don’t need a gift. Your love is enough.” [sniff sniff] All this takes diligence and guarding your child’s heart. We absolutely steer clear of a lot of TV which breeds the gimmies. This year, in our Christmas letter, we asked friends and family to add a needy family to their gift list by donating to our upcoming house-building trip to Mexico. It’s hard work, but well worth the fruit it produces! Hang in there, ladies!
http://cowsdontmoo.com Sonita @ CowsDontMoo.com

Great post. This has been on my heart as well.

This Christmas will be very slim in the gift department, partly due to finance, but partly due to choice as well. There is more money we could spend on gifts for our kids, but we’ve purposely chosen not to. They have an entire room dedicated to toys! They have food and clothing and a roof-what else do they need that must be bought for them?

Hubby and I haven’t exchanged Christmas gifts in about 4 years. We also quit buying for most friends/family about 3 years ago-we did buy the grandparents some awesome watches last year (had the kids’ pic in them-cost me a total of $12 for all 4 I think-too good a deal to pass up!)

This year, like you, we also choose to go with more practical gifts-socks, underwear, books, they are even each getting a pack of copy paper for things to be printed up for school! LOL.

We almost did the no gift thing for the kids, but just couldn’t. We talked about a $20 limit on fill a stocking idea, but, I made a nice little check from my blog and thought ‘oh God has provided us Christmas money’ So I carefully shopped. I spent a little over half of the money. I shopped for deals, bought practical items…. and now…. I sorta have buyers regret.

You’re right-it is a very difficult shift in thinking in our culture.
Anonymous

It is what 18 days until Christmas and I haven’t bought anything. I am not sure why, it just isn’t in the important thing in my mind. I think my husband has been wrestling with this more than I. I could do with less a lot less, and even my husband recognizes the “mess” we tend to turn Christmas into, as a whole. It is time for change, we want to make sure our children understand it is all about being an example of Christ’s love…..God’s love. We like you are really struggling and working through with what God has been telling us. Tonight we are going to by gifts for two “angels” from the Salvation Army Christmas tree. I hope that this will be a nice way to start off celebrating Christmas this year.

http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

Amy.
We haven’t either! Not a single thing. We’re kind of thinking of what our children really NEED. We are a homeschooling family, so some equipment or supplies for that is certainly a great idea.
I just sponsored another child this morning and if our packet gets here in time, I am going to wrap it up and put it under the tree. The boy, Daniel, is a gift to us!

Anonymous

We are also a homeschooling family! There are a few things I would like to have for homeschool for the kids. I also wanted to invest in moments and not toys. A girls night certificate, a mommy son date, a daddy daughter date, ect. and buy the things we need. (but I must say that there really isn’t to many things that we are in need of except more time together as a family and more time spent praising, worshiping, and talking with our Father in Heaven.)
We will share the blessings and joys of sharing with the kids this Christmas but it will NOT be useless stuff, it will NOT be stuff for stuff sake.

http://www.biltonmomma.blogspot.com Musique4Him

We had a great conversation with our kids (12, 11, and 9) this year, and asked what they “needed” for Christmas. Their response was so honest, they said they don’t need anything. Together we decided to put that money to those in need instead, and they each set an amount that they would like to contribute and together we gave through Compassion. Such a great way to change our focus to giving!