Winner #20 – jbirthmom Congrat’s!
Are you a good girl? You know the kind. The try hard and strive hard kind. When you lie down at night the only thing running through your mind are all the things you didn’t do, or all the things you could’ve done better.
Your expectations of yourself are high–very high. You set your own standard and as a result have become your own worst enemy. You are constantly frustrated with yourself for your own lack of perfect performance.
Rather than chasing after God, you’re chasing after perfection.
I felt shame for who I as. I had to be perfect, but I wasn’t. And that wasn’t okay.
The way I saw life was a constant battle of trying to get something I didn’t think I had, of trying to become who Jesus wanted me to be, of trying to become a better version of myself.
pg. 28
That’s me. Except in the present tense.
And these expectations carry off on to those around me–like my children.
What does good mean?
Good means I never mess up. Good means I weigh the perfect amount. Good means I can handle everything, I don’t look like a fool, and I never lose my patience. Good means my husband will never be disappointed in me, and my kids will always obey, and everyone basically likes me. Good means I am enough. My goodness is all about me.
pg. 24
Emily wrote Grace for the Good Girl for girls like me: for the girl who is striving so hard after being “good” and “acceptable” 
that she forgets to strive hard after God and accept grace. She’s afraid that if she accepts grace she is giving herself permission to mess up, so she hides. She performs. She tries really hard to avoid needing the grace she “doesn’t deserve”.
Yet, the very reason Jesus died was so that our good performance {or lack thereof} didn’t stand in the way of our relationship with Him; of being in fellowship with Him. But we make our own rules and decide God’s way is too easy, and in our thinking, anything worth having is going to take hard work. Problem is, this is impossible work.
So the good girl strives and works for that which was so costly, forgetting it is offered freely. Pleasing God because we love Him is not the issue. The issue is performing for acceptance or a “self-righteous obligation”.{pg.65}
Emily reveals the truth behind this lie, and the truth is, you are already accepted. The law does not bring life, it brings recognition of a need. Following the Law does not bring freedom; it imprisons. It hinders us from a deeper relationship with Christ because rather than chasing after Him, we’re chasing after self.
For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. -Romans 8:6
“Flesh” isn’t all selfishness. Flesh is also “fear, worry, anger, hurt, revenge, lust, jealousy, and shame” {pg. 166}.
Instead set a new pattern; not a new truth, rather accept the Truth by believing His words as if He wrote them for you. {Because He did.}
When I don’t set my mind, my mind sets itself.
If I don’t actively set it, it will inactively switch into default mode. And my default setting is shame. {pg. 165}
This book has too much goodness to share it all here. Believe me, it was hard to choose which of my many highlights to share with you.
Bottom line is, if you’re that good girl looking for peace & rest from the constant striving and trying {and failing}, Emily shows you how to identify the masks, tells you how you can remove them, and learn to rest in the Grace God gifted to us so we could simply be with Him.
When we chase after Him and strive only for Him, the rest will follow through living a life of freedom and worship because you can’t help but worship the God who empowers you with Grace.
Giveaway
Today, we want to bless one good girl with a copy of Grace for the Good Girl, compliments of Revell Publishing.
Simply leave a comment sharing a brief note on Grace in your own life. Winners will be announced next Thursday.
One comment per person.
U.S. residents only.
Available September 2011 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.
I requested a copy of Grace for the Good Girl for review–I knew I needed it–and Revell agreed. This post does contain affiliate links. Please read my full disclosure.
